Ideally, have each spouse take the quiz and average the scores for a final score. But even one spouse quiz score can give a good idea.
1. How many years have you been married?
2. Do you still love your spouse (even if not “in love”)?
3. Can you think of 3 things you appreciate about your spouse in less than a minute?
4. How many years were you relatively happy? (round to nearest 5)
5. Do you argue most days?
6. Have you stopped arguing for the most part because one of you is disengaged?
7. Do you have any children or stepchildren under the age of 18?
8. Do you have any children or step-children over the age of 18?
9. Do you have a grandchild under the age of 18?
10. Has your spouse had 2 or more physical or emotional affairs?
11. Have you or your spouse had 2 or more illegal sexual activities?
12. Have you or your spouse had an affair or an illegal sexual activity and refused to engage in intensive psychotherapy and group therapy?
13. Are you or your spouse regularly physically abusive? (including the abuse cycle — honeymoon, tension, explosion, remorse)
14. Have you or your spouse had a pattern of emotional abuse for 6 months or more?
15. Will either abusive person not engage in intensive psychotherapy and group therapy?
16. Are you or your spouse addicted to any substances?
17. Will either substance-addicted person not engage in intensive individual and group therapy for addiction?
18. Do you or your spouse make a significant contribution to family finances?
19. Is your spouse a good parent?
20. Do you love your spouse’s family and are they a good support system for you?
21. Has your spouse created significant debt problems in the marriage (either no income or overspending)?
22. Do you or your spouse have process addictions (eating disorder, pornography, gambling, video games etc.)?
23. Do you or your spouse have process addictions and will not engage in intensive psychotherapy OR 12 step group on a regular basis?
24. Do you or your spouse have a serious unmanageable mental health diagnosis that significantly impacts functioning in work or family roles?
25. Are you or your spouse currently serving a prison sentence?
26. Is your spouse physically unattractive to you?
27. Is your spouse physically attractive to you?
28. Do you go for at least 3 months before you get triggered into thinking of divorce again(unless this is part of the abuse cycle)?
29. Do you or your spouse use sex as a weapon to punish or manipulate the other (unreasonable demands or unreasonable withholding)?
30. Does your spouse expresses appreciation to you about 5x per week?
31. Do you or your spouse do chores and tasks for the home/family on most days?
32. Does your spouse want to save your marriage and avoid divorce?
33. Do your kids love and respect your spouse?
34. Do your kids want you to stop the conflict and save your marriage?
35. Do your kids want you to divorce?
36. Did you or your spouse have a significant change of mind that upsets you regarding religion or politics?